That's hard to read. It's easier to say because I can just say it and it goes away. Thank God I'm not a cartoon where everything I say sits above my head in a white box that I can see.
But when I have to write it out
I'm 30
I have to look at it. And as I look at it, I'm forced to deal with the unchangeable reality that I've been on this Earth for 30 years.
Here are some other facts about me that are strange to look at.
I'm married.
I have two daughters.
I have a career.
I'm chubby.
I'm losing my hair.
That's enough. I can't look at anymore.
I realize that 3 out of 5 of those facts listed are highly sought after by many and are even seen as signs of a successful life, but when I look at them there on the screen, I begin to wonder how long they will last.
Let's start with the marriage thing.
How many people do you know who aren't somehow touched by divorce? Any? I bet you don't.
I bet every person you know is either dealing with divorce themselves or has a family member or close friend who is.
I've been married for 6 years and it hasn't been easy. It's been wonderful in many ways and I love my wife more than anyone on this planet, but we are both human and stupid sometimes.
I'd like to believe that because our marriage is rooted in our similar faith in God that we are going to make it, but I've known many who haven't. Too many.
There is no guarantee.
The same can be said of my children and my career. If my kids survive 18 years on this Earth, they will more than likely leave me and not call or visit nearly as much as I would like.
And one day someone could very easily realize that I'm not qualified for my job and *poof* it's gone.
Marriage, kids, job --meaningless, temporary, a vapor.
Being 30 --meaningless, temporary, a vapor.
Ecclesiastes 1:2
“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”
I love my wife and my kids and my work, and I even kinda like the fact that I'm 30, but I realize that all of it will be gone someday no matter how tightly I hold on.
One day, maybe, I'll be 60, 70, or 80.
One day, maybe, my work will be done.
One day, maybe, my kids will leave my house and no longer need me.
One day, maybe, my wife will leave this Earth, or I will, and our marriage will be over.
So I don't put a lot of hope or faith in any of those things. I don't waste a lot of time staring at the number 30.
I try and spend my faith and hope on stuff that lasts even beyond my length of time on this Earth.
I'm looking toward the next trillion years, not the next 50. You should join me.
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